This too shall pass

Well I've been back in the Western world now for about a week. One is struck by the lack of plastic rubbish and open putrid drains in the streets. Not to mention the livestock, throngs of people, incessant beeping of horns, exhaust fumes and all that. It's fairly cold here down in Australia in mid winter - not exactly arctic cold but it is getting below zero in some parts.

Another shock to the system was having to pay more for a 15minute shuttle train from Brisbane airport to the city than it cost to travel 1274km across India by sleeper train for 27hrs. The plus is the lack of bacteria and the opportunity to earn some bucks to finance the next expedition to the sub-continent. If I get my act together that is and notwithstanding being struck down by a killer dose of swine flu or becoming a refugee of the 'global financial crisis'.

So India. She's a beauty alright; apart from all of the shitty stuff of course. In my time there I managed to come into contact with over a dozen Saints, Sages, Swamis and Satsang givers, most of whom I would rate quite highly in the Consciousness stakes (in so far as I can tell). I also got mauled by a dog, had two fairly serious bouts of gastro-intestinal illness and nearly became an international fund raiser for a mother-daughter con-team.

Particularly during the month of March I went through an intensive period of introspection and blog publishing which seemed to revolve around a cycle of experience, conceptualization and doubt. It’s not in every place where one could have such an opportunity.

My conclusion based upon said introspections is that the much talked about ‘I AM’ is the simple and direct sense of existing common to us all but mostly overlooked. By persistently and consistently redirecting ones attention away from the egoic ‘I’ (thoughts/feelings/intentions/identifications) back to the underlying pure sense of conscious-being and abiding as that, then presumably/reportedly/reputedly, sooner or later, some thresh-hold is breached and finally some kind of permanent shift occurs which is generally referred to as ‘Self-Realization’.

I have yet to verify that last contention for 'my-so-called-self' and if anyone else gets there before me please let me know how it is over there, on-the-other-side, home and dry.

To refine that somewhat, and to pose an answer to a question which was certainly going around in my head, then this basic sense of existing (‘I AM’) seems to be the unadulterated reflection of the unmanifest pure transcendental consciousness in the individual being before the ego gets it grubby little hands on it and covers up our inherently free and peaceful nature with all kinds of crap and shit! Still, that seems to be the game and if the pundits like Ramesh Balsekar are to be believed then it’s all part of the set-up by the mysterious Source.

Another puzzle I encountered along the way was that at one point I was confused in this quest if I should be focusing more upon the expanded sense of awareness I associated with the head-less space or upon the grounded sense of being I associated more with embodiment. That may be a valid question as far as meditation (upon an object) is concerned but what I realize is that as far as self-inquiry (upon the subject) is concerned, then the real bone of contention is who is the one who thinks they are choosing anything?

I don’t know about this Self-Realization malarkey but it seems to involve something about being here-now in conscious-presence with acceptance of reality as it is. Well it sounds alright to me and in the absence of a better plan I guess I’ll keep plugging away at it in my own sporadic way and perhaps one day the veils will drop. Inner peace is perhaps a better term in that it doesn’t seem to carry so much baggage of expectation and projection of what such a way of being would be like.

Anyway, good luck to you all in your own journey of inner peace and thanks for keeping me company along the way. It may be that I get back to India relatively soon for a second round and it may be that some more of my dribbles will appear on this blog from time to time. If so and if you’d like to keep up with the dribbles then you can register with this free website : http://www.watchthatpage.com/ to be notified of any new updates as well as through the usual subscription routes.

Again, thanks for sharing the ride with me which made it all the more worthwhile - that is, if you or I really exist in the first place………………

Bon voyage fellow travelers and Aum Shanti.


From 'I Am That' - Talks with Nisargadatta Maharaj :

"In spite of its primevality the sense of 'I am' is not the highest. It arises with the body (and) when Pure Awareness is attained, no need exists anymore, not even for 'I am', which is but a direction indicator towards the Absolute. What prevails (then) is that which cannot be described, that which is beyond words. It is this state which is most real, a state of pure potentiality, which is prior to everything. The 'I am' (is a) mere reflection of it. Return again and again to 'I am' until it is your only abode; until the ego as a limitation of 'I am' has disappeared. It is then that the Realisation will happen effortlessly."

Brain in a jar and the kaleidoscopic universe

It occurs to me that since our brain creates a picture of reality based upon electrical impulses from our senses then who is to say that we are not just brains in a jar in some laboratory floating in some nutritive solution and hooked up to electrodes feeding us impulses from some sophisticated computer?

I assume that I have a body but I only seem to experience it based on sensory input. Similarly, I assume that the people and places I perceive are also so real but are they anymore real then the people and places I experience in my dream? Certainly there seems to be more consistency and longevity to 'waking state reality' but does prove anything in itself?

Following on from the previous posting there is a sense of a personal me which assumes it is responsible for my life, my choices and my actions but is this anything more than some kind of perceptual illusion?

Maybe I am not a brain in a jar but maybe the brain itself is part of the illusion and the programmer is some kind of superconscious nonmaterial intelligence playing its own game.

The Sages tell us that all manifestation has its source in one Unified Consciousness which has created this drama and has individuated itself into billions of seemingly separate conscious entities. To experience itself evolving in awareness and eventually reaching the point of awakening from the hypnosis of separate individual doership to the reality of the one Unified Consciousness again.

Consciousness awakening to Consciousness, and for what? Maybe just why not? Just the play and experience of diversity and the joy of reunion once again, time after time and each time unique.

About the kaleidoscopic universe; if it's all just a play and perhaps there have been an infinity of universes coming into being (successive Big Bangs) and imploding back to the source again then perhaps 'In the Beginning', 'God' shakes up the energetic elements and parameters which govern the unfolding of each universe, rather like a kaleidoscope, and then each creation manifests its own unique beauty and symmetry according to multidimensional inter-related cycles within cycles. It may get ugly at times but presumably everything balances out in the end.

From the individual point of view? Might as well adjust to the uncertainty of life, realise that it's not personal and enjoy the ride; if one has the good fortune for that possibility.

Extension

I was supposed to be leaving tommorrow but was able to put my flight forward 3 days which will allow me the opportunity to attend Guru Purnima with Ramesh Balsekar. Guru Purnima, FTWDK, is the full moon day in July which is the traditional time for celebrating and expressing gratitude for our spiritual guides. Wayne Liqourman is also arriving from America for the occassion - he is a well reknowned Satsang giver of whom Ramesh has said is his spiritual son.

The last two days Ramesh has been too weak to give satsang so we have been watching DVD recordings which is also fine. Of course we wish him to have good health but we've all got to go at some time and when the time comes for him I am sure he will go with full acceptance and gratitude for the remarkable and blessed life he has had. For this reason, being here at Guru Purnima with him is also very special as the general expectation among his close circle is that it may very well be his last.

I haven't spoken with him directly again since the first day but the teaching he shares is perculating through. There are many external factors in life over which I have little or no control; I can only repond to them in the best way I see fit and am able to in the moment. My choices in life are governed by my genetics, up-to-date conditioning, feelings etc. so the question is, is it really possible that I can choose any differently than I do in any given situation?

Did I choose my inherent tendencies, did I choose my reasoning and feeling capacities, did I choose what formative experiences and influences I would be exposed to in life? And if I did have any influence over these was that also not guided by the same such pre-exisiting factors? How much choice do I really have? Can I choose my next thought or emotion? Can I choose what life will bring to me in the next moment or is it all just happening?

Perhaps I cannot choose what is arising in each moment but I can choose how I respond to them? If so, is that apparent choosing not also a function of the level of my awareness and development combined with my conditioning and genetic predispositions? Can I not then change my conditioning? Conditioning is changing all of the time according to new inputs and internal evolution but again, what governs which inputs I am exposed to and my inclinations towards change?

When one starts investigating and analysing in this way then it certainly causes one to question the sense of personal 'doership' (I am doing; I am choosing) which we all tenaciously hang onto as an implicit unconscious assumption.

So many Sages and Wisdom Traditions agree that the sense of personal doership is the illusion and the cause of suffering. Buddha says 'Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no individual doer thereof' - Radical indeed.

If all of that is true then who or what is it that I think and feel that I am? The Sages offer answers but ultimately guide us to make the investigation for ourselves and come to our own experiential conclusions.

What I know is that I didn't choose to have the tendencies and inclinations that I have and therefore rather than feeling pride or shame about them it makes more sense to observe the internal mechanism and in that awareness the causes of self-inflicted misery seem to tend towards dissolution.

Along with self-investigation and self-attention I have recently been resonating internally during meditation and in daily life with the resonant sound of Aum. This practice of Mantra Japa is a time tested and Sage authenticated means of helping to relax and quiet the wandering mind. When the practice becomes natural, spontaneous and effortless then one is said to be going the right way about it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Penultimate

I'm in rainy Mumbai now after catching a cheap flight from Chennai. The decision came to abort my Nepal visa run idea for now and to return to Australia with my original flight booking on July 6th. If I hadn't used that ticket within a couple of months it would have expired. My general plan is to recharge the bank account and the immune system and then get back here for a second tour of duty sometime in the not too distant future only with less luggage.

While here in Mumbai for a few days I will be attending Satsang with Ramesh Balsekar who is quite well known across the world in the 'Satsang/Consciousness' circles. His own teacher was Nisargadatta Maharaj whom I mentioned in a previous posting. That is an interesting pairing as Nisargadatta was an uneducated tobacconist and Ramesh was the President of the bank of India. Consciousness knows no social barriers.

Ramesh is quite old now (92 I think) and very frail with no teeth which makes him a little difficult to understand at times. Apparently his wife passed away only a week ago so it seems quite possible that he himself is not long for this world. This morning I had a dialogue with him going into how I still get caught up in self-judgement at times and later on we got down to the fundamental question of 'Who Am I?'

He is also teaching the concept that Consciousness (or God/Universal power and intelligence) is all there is and we are part of that. That individual free will is an illusion (although we should do what we feel is best in any situation) and all actions are the unfolding of God's will. Therefore all so called good and bad are the expression of a Divine Play which is already predestined.

That may be the case but I argued the point with him that for me these are beliefs and I do not know the reality of the situation. There seems to be order and intelligence operating behind the scenes but beyond that I cannot say and prefer to leave such questions in the mystery basket.
It was at that point we got down to the fundamental of 'Who Am I?' and that ultimately stillness is the way, beyond the conceptual mind, with which I have no argument.

My visit to Mother Meera was good although undramatic. The stillness and silence of her presence are palpable and infectious. Also in between arriving there and leaving I dissappeared for a few days into TV land in my hotel room which was my first major exposure to the idiot box since I arrived in India. At least I caught some of my favourite type of documentaries on the Discovery and Nat Geo channels which are about surviving in the wild and on new eco-technologies.

Well, that's it for now. Next time I post will probably be a retrospective once I'm back in Australia. Hari Aum Tat Sat

Off the map

Hello. Been 3 weeks or something. The main reason for my silence has been that I've been moving in the Keralan countryside where email cafes, english speakers and whiteman are scarce on the ground. I left Devamruta Swami with Indian friend Ajit and visited with Ajits family for some time who were very hospitable and fed me many mangoes and other copious food stuffs, so at a guess I would say I filled up the body reserve which had become somewhat depleted after the bouts of illness.

We visited some ashrams (like the places of Nityananda and Papa Ramdas) and met some pretty cool people including Swami Sunil, Swami Gyanistananda and another Silent Swami whom I don't know his name but had the opportunity to communicate with through pen and paper. That was a good one and he advised me to come back to that place and do 48 days of silent solitary meditation at the temple of Goddess Mookambika - not sure of the story but somehow she is connected with Adi Shankara mentioned in last posts. Normally I don't go much for the temple idol scene but there was definitely some mysterious powerful energy there which drew ones mind inwards.

Now I am by myself in Bangalore transiting on my way to meet Mother Meera in Andrah Pradesh who is an Indian lady saint whom many also consider to be an embodiment of the Divine Mother. She has quite a different style from Hugging Ma and tends to be more Silent and Still. I met her in Germany 10 or 12 years ago and in a gentle and gradual way she seemed to have quite a powerful influence on me. Somehow and somewhat, my views and presumptions were opened up and broadened out in a subtle way.

Currently I am meeting many people who are living a life largely free of any external roots or securities. At once it is attractive and challenging. 'I', the apparent controller of 'my' ship, doesn't give up clinging and choosing and knowing easily.

So I now have to get some details off the net and then find my bus.
Until the nest time, Hari Aum

Cool and breezy with Kerala Swami

"This moment is the moment of entry; the feeling of Peace. All that there is to do is going into the sensation of the emotion - no verbal expression - touching the energy and let go, aware of the present moment."

These are some of the words on a brief information sheet in the meditation room at Devamrita Swami's simple home nestled amongst quiet village life in the lush Kerala country-side.

I got on the road again earlier this week after getting my test results back showing a mild reoccurance of Feb's Hep A attack. Nothing to do, nothing to worry about - in time the body clears it from the system. Rejoining my two travel companions who went on ahead we are now daily visiting a young (38) unpretentious Indian Swami whom I heard of through Jan from Aham Ashram in Tiruvannamalai.

STOP PRESS : as I am writing a big musical procession is going past receiving one Swami to town who is here to give some sort of healing camp. I saw the poster before - his Guru is Sri Sri Ravi Shankar who used to be involved with TM Maharishi and then branched out on his own in the early 80's and now has a substantial world wide following of his own. His 'lead product' is the 'Sudharshan Kriya' which is a daily vigourous breathing practice to energise the system and purify toxins. I learned it some years ago in NZ and quite liked it although I did not become a dedicated practitioner.

I should mention that I am staying in the town of Kalady which is celebrated as the birth place of Sri Adi Shankaracharya, a very important figure in Indian religious history who re-established the Advaitic Vedic Sanatana Dharma (one of the main streams of Indian religion/culture) in this land around 800 a.d. after centuries of Buddhist dominance.

We are staying temporarily in a rest house 5 mins walk from the Shankaracharya temple where the meditation vibration is palpable. TM Maharishi's own Guru, Bramananda Saraswati, was a descendant in the teaching line of Shankaracharya being somwhat akin to one of four Indian 'Popes' entrusted to keep the Vedic Advaita teaching tradition and social order alive (All is One; Unity in Diversity).

Anyway, back to Swami Devamrita Satsang. He is in the middle of nowhere so getting to him involves an hour or so on local buses which is an adventure in itself and quite pleasant once in the countryside. I don't quite know the Swami's full story but I gather that he had a more or less spontaneous Liberation Cataclysm sometime in his 20's at the holy mountain of Arunachala in Tiruvannamalai. After 7 subsequent years of seclusion and adjustment people started coming to him and the Teacher function naturally arose.

As expressed in the opening paragraph the main thing is the Silence which is the transformative catalyst, especially in the Presence of an Awakened One. There is also an opportunity to ask questions to help remove any confusions and thereby facilitating the process. That's basically it. No paraphernalia. No bells and whistles. No complicated philosophies. No strings attached. The house is simple and uncluttered, like the teaching, and Swami himself is light, easy going, spontaneous and uncomplicated.

I find it quite refreshing after the Amma experience where there is a general expectation of long years/lifetimes of purification through 'selfless' service (Seva) and deification of the Guru. I am more naturally inclined to the simplicity of the Silent herenow approach.

I asked Swami about this difference in emphasis and he responded that it depends upon the needs of the individual. For some the path of Seva and Devotion is more suitable and for others a more meditative path is the best. No doubt everyone needs a bit of this and that both but it seems to be a question of emphasis and horses for courses.

Although many of her devotees feel an inner personal guidance from Amma there is no doubt that Amma is directly working more on a level of the masses to uplift and ease the suffering of a large cross section of humanity.

When people asked Ramana Maharishi why he wasn't out and about helping the world he generally replied along the lines that the world we perceive is a very subjective one and instead of trying to change the appearance of 'out there' one should focus more on cleansing our own windows of perception through an inward process of self-inquiry and then see how it looks after inner transformation has occured. He also stated that the invisible vibrations of a Liberated One do more to uplift and sustain humanity than anything else.

That is not to say that Amma is not also spontaneously emanating uplifting vibrations but just that the outward expression of her inner state is on a different level and it's all good in the grand mysterious scheme of things.

It is all open but I think I will stay here visiting Swami for some time longer. I may not go to the North but either go back to Australia in July as originally planned (Visa's, flights, budget etc.) or renew my Visa in the nearer locale of Sri Lanka and keep going through to early next year. Time will tell..............

By the way, it's pretty rainy and thundery here in Kerala, but at least that keeps the temperature down. I recently heard that temperatures have been hitting 45'C back at the Mountain so I am happy to be under the protection of cloud cover. Makes drying your clothes a bit more difficult though and good job I have a good rain poncho from a very wet Koh Samui in Thailand late last year.

Hari Aum Tat Sat

seva and celibacy in mango heaven

well apologies for the long gap but aside from slightly difficult internet access I also had a dose of suspected typhoid fever which saw me in the intensive care ward for a day or two hooked up to an IV drip. again luckily I was in a good place as there is a small hospital on the ashram grounds here in Kerala where they looked after me.

not as rough as the Hep A experience but still pretty rough on that first day especially when my room mate pushed me in a wheel chair to the doctors and due to dehydration and lowered blood pressure I became temporarily blind and deaf, feeling very not very good. anyway, I have made a quick recovery with only a bit of retreating general weakness to show for it. the diagnosis is not firm and I am awaiting some blood test results on wednesday.

so after over three months in the spiritual home of self-inquiry in Tiruvannamalai I finally hit the road and arrived in Hugging Ma's place on the opposite coast in Kerala. It was a pleasant over night journey with my two companions Satyajit and Bhakta Valsallam. Kerala in general seems a lot more green and lush compared to Tiru as well as seeming fairly clean (at least around here). It's also a lot more humid but that is balanced off by the cooling sea breeze as I am only a couple of hundred metres from the shore and staying on the ninth floor of one of the ashrams many pink high rise buildings.

while the spiritual flavour in tiruvannamalai is centered around recognising and abiding in the ever present pure awareness herenow, the mood here is one of gradual purification through selfless service to others and devotion to the guru (Amma in this case). it's quite a different approach and the deification of the guru is readily apparent in the ascribing of all the events which happen to one here being according to the guru's omnicient grace for ones ultimate spiritual benefit.

in practice the residents generally do alot of karma yoga (work) for the ashram and attend daily programmes of devotional singing, ceremonies and chanting. of course all of that can be a meditation in itself but in practice there is much less emphasis placed on silent sitting meditation and there is a lack of a dedicated quiet meditation hall for anyone to do so.

when amma is in the ashram she is giving darshan four days a week which consists of her meeting with everyone individually for a few seconds, giving them a hug and making some soothing sounds in their ear. to date they estimate she has hugged 28 million people worldwide and sometimes goes for twenty hours. in her perception the greatest lack in this modern world is love and care for ones fellow beings so she is on a grand mission to spread the good vibes. the other stand out feature of her activities, as previously mentioned, is the huge amount of humanitarian work her organisation accomplishes even being recognised by the UN for the effectiveness and efficiency of her tsunami relief work. in addition there are schools, universities, orphanages, hospitals and on and on.

as a child and young woman she was a crazy wild mystic rolling around in the sand in divine ecsatsies, singing and dancing to God and becoming lost in deep meditative states. her family and community were initially against all of this but after some adjustments she is now recognised as a great saint by many people throughout India and the world. she is very practical and down to earth too and has no problem in bossing people around and giving them tough love when she sees that the situation demands it.

there does seem to be some magical quality in the air here and it is easy to get swept up somewhat in the feeling that Amma is somehow aware of and is looking after each individual. her devotees consider her to be an incaranation of the Divine Mother aspect of God but it is easier for me to think of her as a tremendous spiritual and practical being who embodies the qualities of universal motherhood.

I have enjoyed my time here and I like Amma very much. my hugs with her have felt good and I enjoyed a very good quality of meditation waiting in the darshan queue for two hours and sitting in the large hall. like Ramana Maharishi, she herself says that the ultimate realisation is formless and yet there is a lot of focus upon her own form by her devotees which represents a time honoured tradition in India of worshipping and serving the guru.

I myself am somewhat resistant to becoming fixated on another person in such a way and prefer to keep things more open. at the same time there is no doubt that Amma, and other beings like her, are very potent spiritual forces and can act as a conduit or catalyst for many peoples inner journey. another area of my resistance is to the huge emphasis placed on serving others as a spiritual path.

I'm sure that suits some people and I certainly have no problem with being a generally good chap but it is not my inclination to make it a full-time profession. such activities are supposed to be selfless service but so long as the ego persists there is always going to be some form of self-interest in any action. An inevitable lack of authenticity must creep in where one is doing it not because one naturally wants to help others but because one somehow feels one should or has to do it for the purpose of some spiritual gain. then again it's probably as good a way as any to see the workings of ones mind in self-generating misery so long as one has some space and time to digest and process it all. that's what I think anyway; others would say just surrender to the guru, serve the guru's mission and the guru will take care of ones spiritual growth.

that is part of this traditional Indian culture. another part which I also resist is the whole emphasis that one is either a married householder raising children or one is a celibate monk fully dedicated to the spiritual life. that doesn't suit me at all and I don't think it suits the reality of modern western life either. people here say that Amma is more lenient with her western devotees in regard to having relationships etc. but still the general ethos seems to be that celibacy is the best way to go even for couples.

Amma was an ecstatic mystic (which still comes out in her bhajan singing) but I wouldn't exactly say that there is a tone of celebration in the air here. It would be interesting to come back for a return visit sometime in the cool season when there is a much larger contingent of westerners here and see how the vibe is as at the moment it is dominated by the Indian crew.

some other highlights so far : a very inexpensive ashram juice bar where one can get all manner of delicious fruits and juices; swimming in the sea which is nice and cool compared with the hot bath on the other side; watching dolphins and sea eagles in the morning; having some strange funny little frenchman come with five suitcases to share the room with Satyajit and myself; hearing the devotional singing and chanting wafting through the ashram at all hours of the day, and very high on my list of favourites is the abundance of seasonal sweet juicy mangos available here for next to nothing so I am fast becoming a dedicated mangotarian.

sometime after wednesday I will slowly start to head north (possibly via Goa, Pune, Dharamsala, Rishikesh etc.) taking two months to make my way towards Nepal where I plan to stay for a couple of months and return to India with a new six month Visa.

until the next time........................

Inside the Golden Ball of Enlightenment

Or one could say Inside the Death Star as one has to admit that in this construction phase photograph the Matri Mandir bares a striking resemblance. What with the scam-girl drama it's taken me a bit of time to get around to reporting on my recent trip to Pondicherry and Auroville but now the dust has settled I will proceed :

So actually I was very impressed by the Matri Mandir, so much so that I extended my trip by an extra day so I could go inside once again. It's an amazing structure and going inside is like, to carry on the Star Wars theme, entering the Inner Sanctum of the Jedi Temple or like some ancient Atlantean Hall of Wisdom. I tried to get some inside photo's off the web but to no avail so I'll try my best to describe it.

The whole sphere is suspended above a white marble lotus water feature underneath which receives a ray of light which passes right through the central axis of the structure from the very top. When one goes inside, the curved walls are subtly lit in rose shades of colour with a kind of matrix structure spanning the inner surface. One is required to put on a pair of clean white socks (supplied) and is silently ushered through a doorway onto one of two upwardly spiraling suspended ramps which resemble the double helix of DNA.

Ascending as if through open space, spiraling upwards around the central column of light, one is awed into stillness by the magnificence of the place. Reaching about half way up the sphere one enters into the inner chamber. It is a large open circular space 24m in diameter and about 18m high. On the floor is a thick white luxurious carpet and twelve huge white columns reach up to the ceiling. The whole place is kept at a refreshingly cool temperature and in total silence.

A shaft of pure white light is focused in through the central apex of the curved roof and sent directly downwards into a huge, perfectly spherical clear quartz crystal ball which diffuses a portion throughout the otherwise dark chamber and sends the rest downwards to the lotus pond below. One takes ones place on one of 48 meditation mats laid out in perfect order around the hall, closes ones eyes and sits quietly.

The place has an atmosphere of deep stillness and is certainly conducive to meditation. The consort of Sri Aurobindo, 'Sweet Mother', specified and oversaw every detail of the inner structure and decor and said she would guarantee there would be a strong presence of the divine there.

Surrounding the great globe are twelve 'petals', or individual meditation chambers, each embodying one of several different noble qualities such as courage, generosity, aspiration etc. and each with it's own particular colour scheme and symbology.Clearly, the pure white, silent and zen-like inner chamber represents the simplicity and stillness of pure consciousness (white light) and the more outer aspects represent the diverse manifest aspects of that pure consciousness (all the colours and qualities of the rainbow).

As I said after jumping through all of the initial hurdles required I was impressed. Now I am able to go there freely and meditate inside for one hour between 9.30am and 10.30am with prior booking the day before. It is pretty cool. At the end of the day one doesn't really need any grand structures such as this to meditate in, Guatama the Buddha became Enlightened under a simple tree, but I have to say the Matri Mandir is impressive and I can certainly see myself revisiting and meditating there again from time to time.

Talking about trees there is also a 400 year old Banyan tree next to the Matri Mandir which is quite amazing. Banyan trees can become really huge and spread out over a large area. In order to support the bulk of the massive branches the tree sends down tendrils which take root in the earth and form new trunks. So one tree can actually create a small forest all by itself, all connected together to one original central core.

There were other aspects to my 3 day trip such as getting hit on by a gay Indian man on the town bus (offer declined), forming a bit of an infatuation with a hot French woman at the Matri Mandir bag deposit office, watching some movie footage from the 1950's of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram which resembled a Hitler Youth parade (complete with a slight variation on the 'sieg heil' salute), eating a meal in the Auroville 'Solar Kitchen', which prepares over 1000 meals a day by collecting sunlight to form steam for cooking, and making a few visits to the Indian sweet shop for Kulfi (very rich Indian ice-cream) and various other edible delights.

My next adventure is looking very likely to be a cross country train journey to Kerala on Monday night to be with Amma (famous hugging saint) for 10 days in her Ashram. Looks like I am going together with my Indian chess/meditator friend Batel Valsaram and a Swiss dude, Andreas/Satyajit, who has been living in India for a number of years. After that I am open. I have a few leads on various yogis, swamis, ashrams and gurus around Kerala I can follow up and then, I can come back here or I can proceed gradually north towards the Himalayas....................

It's a hard life with so many decisions to make but somehow, day by day, I am managing.

Epilogue

Well that last one seemed to stir up a bit of energy. I gave the girl back her forged document yesterday morning. Taking Murugans advice I let things be rather than confronting them with their lies. Predictably the girl was still sticking 'sincerely' to her story that it was all a misunderstanding and blah blah blah. I just said yes, yes. She asked when I am coming for my next Tamil lesson, I told her I will let her know when I am coming next (which is never). She asked if I am angry with her. I said goodbye, got on my bike and rode off without looking back.

There was temptation to confront them but what good would it do really? It would only have been venting on them. They seem to be without conscience or remorse and don't seem to know the difference between truth and lies. Any energy given to them is only more fuel for their games of deception. I let it go and don't expect there to be anymore to this particular story.

Jan, from A. Ramana's Aham Ashram India, told me one other story of a bedraggled woman beggar she would always see with a small dirty baby, always with a runny nose. Naturally it evokes ones concern and compassion but the funny thing was she saw the same woman every year, year after year, with a different baby but with the same runny nose. She must have been renting the babies or doing some kind of profit sharing deal with the real mothers!

It's kind of funny really as well as being sad. These people are not nearly as miserable and pathetic as they always seem. It's all just part of the professional begging act which they prefer rather than working for a living. True, many of the lower level jobs don't pay much but ................................ it must be a complex story as to how this kind of pervasive degeneration takes place and of course, it's not only India. It's all over the world in different varieties.

Well, I'm glad that it's not up to me to try and solve all of the worlds problems. The other side of the coin is that India is a very cheap place for people like me to come and live for extended periods of time so I guess it's all part of the polarity of life. Who ever said this world was supposed to be a heaven? Things are like this now.........