Please note that I have extensively revised the posting formerly entitled 'enquiry for the grandparents' and now 'a meditation upon 'I'. This is in appreciation of the fact that not everyone may be able to recognise the feeling-sense of 'I' straight away or relate to the experience of 'I amness' or embodied beingness. Any feedback or questions are welcome.
Also a slight revision to 'three verses on enquiry' and 'down the road a bit' for those interested
In the posting of March 9th entitled 'so what is this enlightenment thing anyway?' I speculated that 'Enlightenment' may be the merging of individual consciousness with some kind of Cosmic or Universal Consciousness. There may be a stage like that but I would now say (IMHO) that the initial thing is the individual Realisation of, and establishment in, Pure Transcendental Consciousness, which is simply the Pure Awareness at our core and the origin of the feeling-sense of 'I am'. This is usually termed Self-Realisataion, which may be the basis for some ongoing evolution towards Universality, but in itself seems straight forward enough.
In some schools of thought it is considered that both individual consciousness and Universal Consciousness (which is considered to manifest, maintain and dissolve Creation) both have their source in Pure Transcendental Consciousness and that 'Full Enlightenment' encompasses the totality of all of those aspects. Other schools of thought have more of a Personal God centered outlook and others deny that there is anything other than Self-Realisation. But all could agree that all of the rubbish we have accumulated obscures our true nature and that somehow this situation needs to be dealt to. At any rate until, and if, we experience these things for ourselves then they remain as theories.
Furthermore, in the posting on the same day entitled 'on not breaking on through to the other side' I speculated than by remaining with a quiet mind in the simple awareness of 'I-amness' then everything else would take care of itself. There may be some truth to this but I will also add that Ramana Maharishi cautions against becoming absorbed and plateauing in pleasant states. They are a good sign of progress but one should keep up the enquiry and transcend even these until one finally reaches to Pure Transcendental Consciousness beyond even the sense of individual 'I am'.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
towards the end of the road
All this talk of roads, or a journey of meditation, implies distance and time. However abiding in the awareness of 'I am' is only ever here and now. The idea of 'I am' there and then is exactly that, an idea, which is in fact a distraction from the reality of 'I am' here and now. Better stick with 'I am' here and now.
Within that 'I am' here and now however, there also seems to be a gradual deepening, intensifying and refining process which goes on gradually over the course of time. This is the paradox of the co-existence of opposites.
Carrying on from the last posting 'down the road a bit' :
So either way (enquiry into 'I' or meditation upon 'I'), one may begin having these momentary experiences of singularity which will increase in frequency, duration and clarity as progress is made. This experience is given many names such as Transcendental Consciousness, Pure Awareness, the Self, Turiya and any number of others.
Turiya is a sanskrit word which means 'the fourth' indicating that it is a fourth state of consciousness as distinct from the normal three of waking, sleeping and dreaming. It is said to be like the blank cinema screen upon which all the other three states are projected (deep sleep being like a dark blank screen).
It is called Transcendental Consciousness because as the substratum, it is beyond the other three states. It is called Pure Awareness because it is said to be the origin of our normal ability to be aware. Also because in this state, Awareness stands alone, aware of itself, with no object of awareness.
It is called the Self because it is said to be the original True Self of which even the pure feeling-sense of 'I am', embodied beingness, is but a reflection. The capital 'S' distinguishing it from the individual self we usually take ourselves to be.
When awareness of this state of Transcendental Consciousness becomes firmly established in us, such that it becomes the central, conscious and unshakable fact of our existence then Self-Realisation is said to have occured. It is not something which is created, but it is something already existing which becomes apparent once the obscurations have been removed.
For that reason, all of this meditation is actually a process of purification where the human nervous system gradually acclimatises itself to sustaining this type of awareness. Therefore don't be surprised when all the rubbish we have accumulated in body and mind starts to come out; better out than in as they say. It is actually a process of becoming more normal and more natural with ourselves.
Self-Realisation may not be the end of the story but really just the start of the true adventure into the mystery which is this existance. At any rate, getting rid of all the neurotic rubbish and coming to the stage of naturally abiding in the peaceful awareness of 'I amness', as a harmonious and whole human being, is something which most people could relate too and see the intrinsic benefit of.
I will say at this point that in talking of Self Realisation I am borrowing from the teachings of the Sages and cannot speak upon my own authority of direct experience. But that in doing so I have a reasonable degree of confidence through having practised some meditation and some self-enquiry giving a reasonable degree of experience and confirmation in the preceding stages. It is up to each one to do so for themselves as they feel drawn.
To close, here is an abridged quotation from the foreword to the famous book 'I Am That - Talks with Nisargadatta Maharaj', a well renowned 20th century Sage.
"In spite of its primevality the sense of 'I am' is not the highest. It arises with the body (and) when Pure Awareness is attained, no need exists anymore, not even for 'I am', which is but a direction indicator towards the Absolute. What prevails (then) is that which cannot be described, that which is beyond words. It is this state which is most real, a state of pure potentiality, which is prior to everything. The 'I am' (is a) mere reflection of it. Return again and again to 'I am' until it is your only abode; until the ego as a limitation of 'I am' has disappeared. It is then that the Realisation will happen effortlessly."
Within that 'I am' here and now however, there also seems to be a gradual deepening, intensifying and refining process which goes on gradually over the course of time. This is the paradox of the co-existence of opposites.
Carrying on from the last posting 'down the road a bit' :
So either way (enquiry into 'I' or meditation upon 'I'), one may begin having these momentary experiences of singularity which will increase in frequency, duration and clarity as progress is made. This experience is given many names such as Transcendental Consciousness, Pure Awareness, the Self, Turiya and any number of others.
Turiya is a sanskrit word which means 'the fourth' indicating that it is a fourth state of consciousness as distinct from the normal three of waking, sleeping and dreaming. It is said to be like the blank cinema screen upon which all the other three states are projected (deep sleep being like a dark blank screen).
It is called Transcendental Consciousness because as the substratum, it is beyond the other three states. It is called Pure Awareness because it is said to be the origin of our normal ability to be aware. Also because in this state, Awareness stands alone, aware of itself, with no object of awareness.
It is called the Self because it is said to be the original True Self of which even the pure feeling-sense of 'I am', embodied beingness, is but a reflection. The capital 'S' distinguishing it from the individual self we usually take ourselves to be.
When awareness of this state of Transcendental Consciousness becomes firmly established in us, such that it becomes the central, conscious and unshakable fact of our existence then Self-Realisation is said to have occured. It is not something which is created, but it is something already existing which becomes apparent once the obscurations have been removed.
For that reason, all of this meditation is actually a process of purification where the human nervous system gradually acclimatises itself to sustaining this type of awareness. Therefore don't be surprised when all the rubbish we have accumulated in body and mind starts to come out; better out than in as they say. It is actually a process of becoming more normal and more natural with ourselves.
Self-Realisation may not be the end of the story but really just the start of the true adventure into the mystery which is this existance. At any rate, getting rid of all the neurotic rubbish and coming to the stage of naturally abiding in the peaceful awareness of 'I amness', as a harmonious and whole human being, is something which most people could relate too and see the intrinsic benefit of.
I will say at this point that in talking of Self Realisation I am borrowing from the teachings of the Sages and cannot speak upon my own authority of direct experience. But that in doing so I have a reasonable degree of confidence through having practised some meditation and some self-enquiry giving a reasonable degree of experience and confirmation in the preceding stages. It is up to each one to do so for themselves as they feel drawn.
To close, here is an abridged quotation from the foreword to the famous book 'I Am That - Talks with Nisargadatta Maharaj', a well renowned 20th century Sage.
"In spite of its primevality the sense of 'I am' is not the highest. It arises with the body (and) when Pure Awareness is attained, no need exists anymore, not even for 'I am', which is but a direction indicator towards the Absolute. What prevails (then) is that which cannot be described, that which is beyond words. It is this state which is most real, a state of pure potentiality, which is prior to everything. The 'I am' (is a) mere reflection of it. Return again and again to 'I am' until it is your only abode; until the ego as a limitation of 'I am' has disappeared. It is then that the Realisation will happen effortlessly."
down the road a bit
Once ones practice of meditation or self-enquiry progresses one may begin to find that a certain degree of clarity and stability of inner experience is occuring. One may increasingly find that the mind becomes quieter and is resting more and more readily in a state of natural awareness of I amness and that this is a peaceful and quietly satisfying experience.
This natural sense of 'I am' is intrinsic to our human make-up only most often we are not aware of it because the mind is too busy in conscious and unconscious identifications (thoughts) of 'I am this' or 'I am that' and 'I need to do this' and 'I need to do that'. When we are able to naturally rest in the awareness of pure 'I amness' then there is an inherent feeling of wholeness and well-being.
If we are not in touch with that inherent sense of wholeness and well-being then we tend to look for it outside of ourselves rather than living our lives as an expression of intrinsic wholeness.
There may come a time however when this natural sense of 'I amness', or embodied beingness, becomes more our natural home and although the mind may sometimes continue to wander here and there we are never very far from home. As pleasant as this way of being may be however it is not the end of the story.
During ones meditation or self-enquiry one should not curl up and go to sleep in this type of pleasant experience (or in any other type). One should persist in the question 'who am I?' or in 'I,......I,......I,......I,' (or in whatever other support you are using in your practice).
The question 'who am I?' is not a question which calls for an intellectual answer. It is a means to keep the mind focused and alert in enquiring into this experience of 'I' and not drifting off in complacency. The feeling of 'I amness' is not the final goal but a pointer in the right direction.
If we continue going deeper and subtler in this enquiry then we may begin to find that we have momentary experiences where it seems as if the mind and the breath have been temporarily sucked up into a different state.
It is a state of singularity where there is no thought; just Pure Awareness standing by itself. Thought and external awareness are sucked up and enfolded in on themselves into a kind of singularity. It may sound mysterious but it is a natural experience and does not necessarily seem very dramatic when it begins to occur.
The same thing will happen if one is practising 'I,......I,......I,......I,'. The repetition keeps the mind focused in a relaxed way on the 'I' which allows awareness to sink, like a pebble in a lake, back towards it's own centre. The repetition should be natural, easy and should be allowed to become subtler and subtler.
It is not an effortful exercise in concentration. No the awareness becomes concentrated naturally as it returns to its source. Allow the repetition to become more like having a faint idea of the thought 'I' and to keep you in touch with the feeling of 'I'. In contrast, keeping up a clear, distinct and strong mental pronouniation of 'I' will tend to keep awareness more on the surface levels of the mind rather than allowing it to sink deep.
So either way, one may begin having these momentary experiences of singularity which at first may seem somewhat indistinct but will increase in frequency, duration and clarity as progress is made. In terms of the practice it happens spontaneously and comes and goes by itself. We should not have an expectation of it but allow things to proceed naturally. If there is a momentary experience then when one is aware of having a choice in the matter then simply return to the question or repetition of 'I'. If one is thinking about it, wondering if this is it, then one is off in thoughts and out of the experience. Again come back to the practice and continue.
This experience of singularity is given many names such as Transcendental Consciousness, Pure Awareness, The Self, Turiya and any number of others. I will say more about all of that in the next posting, but it is helpful for now to have a bit of a roadmap so that there is an idea of the journey and a context within which to understand inner experiences as they start to occur. Its all a good sign that things are heading in the right direction.
Happy meditating - take the rough with the smooth.
This natural sense of 'I am' is intrinsic to our human make-up only most often we are not aware of it because the mind is too busy in conscious and unconscious identifications (thoughts) of 'I am this' or 'I am that' and 'I need to do this' and 'I need to do that'. When we are able to naturally rest in the awareness of pure 'I amness' then there is an inherent feeling of wholeness and well-being.
If we are not in touch with that inherent sense of wholeness and well-being then we tend to look for it outside of ourselves rather than living our lives as an expression of intrinsic wholeness.
There may come a time however when this natural sense of 'I amness', or embodied beingness, becomes more our natural home and although the mind may sometimes continue to wander here and there we are never very far from home. As pleasant as this way of being may be however it is not the end of the story.
During ones meditation or self-enquiry one should not curl up and go to sleep in this type of pleasant experience (or in any other type). One should persist in the question 'who am I?' or in 'I,......I,......I,......I,' (or in whatever other support you are using in your practice).
The question 'who am I?' is not a question which calls for an intellectual answer. It is a means to keep the mind focused and alert in enquiring into this experience of 'I' and not drifting off in complacency. The feeling of 'I amness' is not the final goal but a pointer in the right direction.
If we continue going deeper and subtler in this enquiry then we may begin to find that we have momentary experiences where it seems as if the mind and the breath have been temporarily sucked up into a different state.
It is a state of singularity where there is no thought; just Pure Awareness standing by itself. Thought and external awareness are sucked up and enfolded in on themselves into a kind of singularity. It may sound mysterious but it is a natural experience and does not necessarily seem very dramatic when it begins to occur.
The same thing will happen if one is practising 'I,......I,......I,......I,'. The repetition keeps the mind focused in a relaxed way on the 'I' which allows awareness to sink, like a pebble in a lake, back towards it's own centre. The repetition should be natural, easy and should be allowed to become subtler and subtler.
It is not an effortful exercise in concentration. No the awareness becomes concentrated naturally as it returns to its source. Allow the repetition to become more like having a faint idea of the thought 'I' and to keep you in touch with the feeling of 'I'. In contrast, keeping up a clear, distinct and strong mental pronouniation of 'I' will tend to keep awareness more on the surface levels of the mind rather than allowing it to sink deep.
So either way, one may begin having these momentary experiences of singularity which at first may seem somewhat indistinct but will increase in frequency, duration and clarity as progress is made. In terms of the practice it happens spontaneously and comes and goes by itself. We should not have an expectation of it but allow things to proceed naturally. If there is a momentary experience then when one is aware of having a choice in the matter then simply return to the question or repetition of 'I'. If one is thinking about it, wondering if this is it, then one is off in thoughts and out of the experience. Again come back to the practice and continue.
This experience of singularity is given many names such as Transcendental Consciousness, Pure Awareness, The Self, Turiya and any number of others. I will say more about all of that in the next posting, but it is helpful for now to have a bit of a roadmap so that there is an idea of the journey and a context within which to understand inner experiences as they start to occur. Its all a good sign that things are heading in the right direction.
Happy meditating - take the rough with the smooth.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
a meditation upon 'I'
N.B. Please read in combination with this posting the one entitled 'On mantra's and meditation' posted on March 18th. this contains important information about mantras and other suggestions on meditation.
I wanted to write something explaining a simple approach to a self-enquiry based meditation which would be able to be easily understood and applied by anyone with the interest to do so, even if they have no prior background in such things.
Ramana Maharshi often indicated that his highest teaching was the power of silence which emanated through him (as a result of his Enlightenment). For those unable to fully appreciate this silence then he advocated the practice of self-inquiry, which hinges upon apprehending and holding onto the feeling-sense of 'I' with the question 'Who am I?'. A related approach he sometimes recommended was to hold onto the thought of 'I,...I,...I,' as a means to similarly allow awareness to return to its source.
This second approach would be especially suitable for those who may find self-inquiry itself a bit difficult to relate to or who are unable to immediately recognise what is meant by the feeling-sense of 'I'. Expanding on Ramana Maharshi's instructions in this regard and drawing upon my own background training in meditation I have come up with the following which I believe will be found to be an effective and beneficial method.
So, start with sitting quietly and comfortably in a place where you will not be disturbed. Close the eyes and turn the attention within. Feel the body and become aware of the breath. Rest your awareness upon the natural flow of the breath and allow your attention to find a natural resting place within the body. Continue like this for a minute or so allowing everything to settle down.
Now, begin the gentle inward repetition of the word 'I'. Let it be easy, natural and effortless. Allow it to find it's own rythmn and tempo, although slow, steady and gentle will generally be good.
As you say 'I' to yourself you may become aware of the feeling-sense of 'I'. That is, that 'thing' which feels like me; not a concrete thing or sensation; more of a subtle and perhaps vague feeling of some 'thing' which feels like me. Everytime in normal life when we say 'I' what are we referring to? We can identify ourselves as 'I am this' or 'I am that' but behind it all is the subtle and non-verbal feeling-sense of 'I'.
So without mentally analysing or intellectualising just continue in the practice and if you become aware of a feeling-sense of 'I' then very good; remain in that awareness as you continue. If not, or if you lose it, then don't worry, just continue in the practice of the gentle repetition of 'I'. You might find that your awareness becomes drawn to a particular sensation within. This is fine, allow it to happen and continue, 'I,...I,...I,...I,'
If thoughts come, as they naturally will, then as soon as you become aware that you have wandered off in thinking then simply and easily return to the practice. This is bound to happen and can even be a sign of some kind of release so don't be concerned or frustrated about it; it is natural. As soon as you become aware of having drifted off; simply come back again to the practice.
As you continue you may find that the breath and the repetition of 'I' are becoming more and more subtle and quiet. This is good, allow it to happen. You may also have the occassional and momentary experience where there are no thoughts, no thinking of 'I' and no awareness of the body. This is also good, allow it and when you become aware again of having a choice, continue easily in the practice. I have said more about this particular experience in the two posts following this one.
Continue for twenty minutes or so and then cease the repetition of 'I'; be restful and take a few minutes to come back slowly, feeling yourself present in your body and beginning to breath more deeply, before gradually opening the eyes and going about your day. It is good if you can set aside some time to do it regularly (even twice daily) but even ten minutes once in a while is better than nothing. If you get established in a regular practice then you can gradually extend the length of your sittings if you feel to, but slow and steady wins the race rather than working sporadically.
During the practice or during resting afterwards you might sometimes find that thoughts or emotions are crowding in. As mentioned, this can be a sign of something releasing or purifying so don't be concerned. Again, be aware of the body and feel for any sensations there. Be with these sensations and the breath in a restful way and this will help the disturbance to pass through more easily. It is also good to continue resting longer afterwards if this occurs and you have the time.
I have been recently practising along these lines myself and it is in no way an inferior practice to self-inquiry. In fact it is very effective and ultimately would lead to the same place as self-inquiry which is the pure awareness prior to thought. The result is a more peaceful, centred and conscious individual.
This technique I have outlined borrows heavily from Transcendental Meditation (TM) which I practised myself for several years. TM is a simple effective technique of meditation which has a large amount of scientific research behind it which demonstrate numerous practical benefits including improved health, well-being and creativity.
The technique I have outlined here differs from TM essentially in that it is using the word 'I' as the focus whereas in TM one is given a sanskrit mantra (suitable sound).
Ramana Maharshi has said that 'I' is the first and greatest of all mantra's; superior even to Aum (primordial mantra). The reason being is that before any other experience can be there must first be an 'I' (a subject) to experience it. The feeling-sense of 'I' is the lynchpin of our experience and the saying of 'I' invokes the very feeling-sense of 'I' which then becomes the very object of our meditation and the gateway to freedom.
In Kashmiri Tantra, the ever blissful transcendental identity is called aham ('I') versus the finite ego ahamkara ("I-maker"). Ramana Maharshi asserts that self-inquiry is the direct way to Self-Realisation because we are directly dissolving the egoic false sense of 'I' (ahamkara) which is the very thing which obscures the ever present reality of the Self, the True 'I' (Aham).
Using 'I' as the focus also avoids the objection of using some funny sound possibly associated with an exotic foreign religion. Just avoid turning your meditation practice into contemplating 'I' (thinking about the meaning of 'I') or of a concentration practice upon the thought 'I' (this may strenghten the concentration power of the mind but won't necessarily allow awareness to return to it's own source). The repetition of 'I' is to invoke the feeling sense of 'I' and is a gentle stirring to keep alertness focused and subtlely alive in the quieter levels of the mind so that the inward movement to the centre can continue.
Happy meditating. Any problems or questions and I will answer to the best of my ability.
I wanted to write something explaining a simple approach to a self-enquiry based meditation which would be able to be easily understood and applied by anyone with the interest to do so, even if they have no prior background in such things.
Ramana Maharshi often indicated that his highest teaching was the power of silence which emanated through him (as a result of his Enlightenment). For those unable to fully appreciate this silence then he advocated the practice of self-inquiry, which hinges upon apprehending and holding onto the feeling-sense of 'I' with the question 'Who am I?'. A related approach he sometimes recommended was to hold onto the thought of 'I,...I,...I,' as a means to similarly allow awareness to return to its source.
This second approach would be especially suitable for those who may find self-inquiry itself a bit difficult to relate to or who are unable to immediately recognise what is meant by the feeling-sense of 'I'. Expanding on Ramana Maharshi's instructions in this regard and drawing upon my own background training in meditation I have come up with the following which I believe will be found to be an effective and beneficial method.
So, start with sitting quietly and comfortably in a place where you will not be disturbed. Close the eyes and turn the attention within. Feel the body and become aware of the breath. Rest your awareness upon the natural flow of the breath and allow your attention to find a natural resting place within the body. Continue like this for a minute or so allowing everything to settle down.
Now, begin the gentle inward repetition of the word 'I'. Let it be easy, natural and effortless. Allow it to find it's own rythmn and tempo, although slow, steady and gentle will generally be good.
As you say 'I' to yourself you may become aware of the feeling-sense of 'I'. That is, that 'thing' which feels like me; not a concrete thing or sensation; more of a subtle and perhaps vague feeling of some 'thing' which feels like me. Everytime in normal life when we say 'I' what are we referring to? We can identify ourselves as 'I am this' or 'I am that' but behind it all is the subtle and non-verbal feeling-sense of 'I'.
So without mentally analysing or intellectualising just continue in the practice and if you become aware of a feeling-sense of 'I' then very good; remain in that awareness as you continue. If not, or if you lose it, then don't worry, just continue in the practice of the gentle repetition of 'I'. You might find that your awareness becomes drawn to a particular sensation within. This is fine, allow it to happen and continue, 'I,...I,...I,...I,'
If thoughts come, as they naturally will, then as soon as you become aware that you have wandered off in thinking then simply and easily return to the practice. This is bound to happen and can even be a sign of some kind of release so don't be concerned or frustrated about it; it is natural. As soon as you become aware of having drifted off; simply come back again to the practice.
As you continue you may find that the breath and the repetition of 'I' are becoming more and more subtle and quiet. This is good, allow it to happen. You may also have the occassional and momentary experience where there are no thoughts, no thinking of 'I' and no awareness of the body. This is also good, allow it and when you become aware again of having a choice, continue easily in the practice. I have said more about this particular experience in the two posts following this one.
Continue for twenty minutes or so and then cease the repetition of 'I'; be restful and take a few minutes to come back slowly, feeling yourself present in your body and beginning to breath more deeply, before gradually opening the eyes and going about your day. It is good if you can set aside some time to do it regularly (even twice daily) but even ten minutes once in a while is better than nothing. If you get established in a regular practice then you can gradually extend the length of your sittings if you feel to, but slow and steady wins the race rather than working sporadically.
During the practice or during resting afterwards you might sometimes find that thoughts or emotions are crowding in. As mentioned, this can be a sign of something releasing or purifying so don't be concerned. Again, be aware of the body and feel for any sensations there. Be with these sensations and the breath in a restful way and this will help the disturbance to pass through more easily. It is also good to continue resting longer afterwards if this occurs and you have the time.
I have been recently practising along these lines myself and it is in no way an inferior practice to self-inquiry. In fact it is very effective and ultimately would lead to the same place as self-inquiry which is the pure awareness prior to thought. The result is a more peaceful, centred and conscious individual.
This technique I have outlined borrows heavily from Transcendental Meditation (TM) which I practised myself for several years. TM is a simple effective technique of meditation which has a large amount of scientific research behind it which demonstrate numerous practical benefits including improved health, well-being and creativity.
The technique I have outlined here differs from TM essentially in that it is using the word 'I' as the focus whereas in TM one is given a sanskrit mantra (suitable sound).
Ramana Maharshi has said that 'I' is the first and greatest of all mantra's; superior even to Aum (primordial mantra). The reason being is that before any other experience can be there must first be an 'I' (a subject) to experience it. The feeling-sense of 'I' is the lynchpin of our experience and the saying of 'I' invokes the very feeling-sense of 'I' which then becomes the very object of our meditation and the gateway to freedom.
In Kashmiri Tantra, the ever blissful transcendental identity is called aham ('I') versus the finite ego ahamkara ("I-maker"). Ramana Maharshi asserts that self-inquiry is the direct way to Self-Realisation because we are directly dissolving the egoic false sense of 'I' (ahamkara) which is the very thing which obscures the ever present reality of the Self, the True 'I' (Aham).
Using 'I' as the focus also avoids the objection of using some funny sound possibly associated with an exotic foreign religion. Just avoid turning your meditation practice into contemplating 'I' (thinking about the meaning of 'I') or of a concentration practice upon the thought 'I' (this may strenghten the concentration power of the mind but won't necessarily allow awareness to return to it's own source). The repetition of 'I' is to invoke the feeling sense of 'I' and is a gentle stirring to keep alertness focused and subtlely alive in the quieter levels of the mind so that the inward movement to the centre can continue.
Happy meditating. Any problems or questions and I will answer to the best of my ability.
relaxing with relativity
Part of the restlessness of my mind seems to be in always seeking an ideal of perfection and then wanting to proclaim it to the world. The perfect method, the perfect understanding, the perfect solution.
Clearly there must be many valid approaches and one trap is to get overly caught up in attachment to one and taking it to be the be all and end all. Another trap is in constantly running from pillar to post and never seeing anything through to completion. I have done them both and in both the unconscious identity thrives.
In meditation one could use the support of many different aspects of experience. For example one could use a mantra, the breath or the sensation of the body. The main initial function of the support is really as a diversion for the mind to help it step out of the merry-go-round of thinking, allowing awareness to come back to its own center, becoming consciously conscious in the now.
Or, as in self-enquiry, one could directly bring awareness to the feeling-sense of the 'I' who we take ourselves to be. Again, remaining present to that with the enquiry 'who am I?', awareness returns to its own centre.
Or one could very well take a combination approach according to ones individual needs and preference.
So, from now on, I am going to try and leave absolutism to the absolute and relax with relativity.
Clearly there must be many valid approaches and one trap is to get overly caught up in attachment to one and taking it to be the be all and end all. Another trap is in constantly running from pillar to post and never seeing anything through to completion. I have done them both and in both the unconscious identity thrives.
In meditation one could use the support of many different aspects of experience. For example one could use a mantra, the breath or the sensation of the body. The main initial function of the support is really as a diversion for the mind to help it step out of the merry-go-round of thinking, allowing awareness to come back to its own center, becoming consciously conscious in the now.
Or, as in self-enquiry, one could directly bring awareness to the feeling-sense of the 'I' who we take ourselves to be. Again, remaining present to that with the enquiry 'who am I?', awareness returns to its own centre.
Or one could very well take a combination approach according to ones individual needs and preference.
So, from now on, I am going to try and leave absolutism to the absolute and relax with relativity.
three verses on enquiry
who is enquiring?
I am
abide in the natural awareness of 'I am'
prior to 'I am this' or 'I am that'
use the silent enquiry 'who am I?'
to keep the mind subsiding in this abidance
until even this 'I am' disappears
just as the fan continues to turn for a time after the power is cut
this restless mind too will continue to turn for a time
remain in the enquiry and this too shall pass
I am
abide in the natural awareness of 'I am'
prior to 'I am this' or 'I am that'
use the silent enquiry 'who am I?'
to keep the mind subsiding in this abidance
until even this 'I am' disappears
just as the fan continues to turn for a time after the power is cut
this restless mind too will continue to turn for a time
remain in the enquiry and this too shall pass
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
on not breaking on through to the other side
So I had what to me was a rather profound insight which has revolutionised my view on things.
I had been seeing the qualities of awareness and of embodied beingness (I am) as being at two ends of a spectrum of subjective experience. To me this spectrum was still within the realm of mind and body and I was striving to somehow transcend it and to experience what I have taken to be the Pure Self - Pure Consciousness beyond space and time.
I wasn't sure whether I should try to plumb the deepest depths of embodied beingness or to try to scale the highest heights of disembodied awareness or to try and do both at the same time!
I was somehow trying to push and pull and stretch this big elastic band of inner experience, attempting to provoke a break through into the Ultimate! I didn't succeed!
Now I can see the error of my ways and am reformed.
Since time immemorial, from the testimony of the Sages, this 'thing' we call the Self has been attributed with three essential qualities; that of Sat, Chit and Anand, or Existence, Consciousness and Bliss.
As above, so below. So we find these three essential qualities reflected in our human experience. Sat, as the sense of individual existence (I am), Chit, as the capacity to be aware and to know, and Anand, as the capacity to feel deep contentment, unconditional love and connectedness.
Somehow we have not been aware of our true nature and our sense of individual existence has become mixed up in mind identification; we have lost touch with our inherent sense of fulfillment and so we seek to try and find it through objective knowledge and the situations and circumstances of this apparent world.
What I realised was that the sense of embodied beingness (I am) is not a separate quality from the awareness of it. Nor are they two aspects of some kind of linear continuum.
No they are both inherent and inseparable qualities of the Self (in reflection), so my attempts to try and find the Self by trying to isolate, separate and transcend its essential qualities was doomed to failure.
The missing quality was Anand (bliss or concentrated happiness). The only good reason really to try to find the Self is because one is trying to find some kind of deep lasting happiness, so what if in my strenuous attempts I was actually short circuiting the possibility all along?
The three essential qualities of the Self are Sat, Chit and Anand so I had the insight that maybe the key is not in trying to separate or exaggerate the qualities of awareness and beingness but in the simple resting in the natural awareness of beingness.
Funnily enough that turned out to be quite blissful! Not the least because now my mind finally had a satisfying explanation and could let go. It was like letting go of an elastic band which one is stretching and it suddenly snaps back to it's own natural shape.
And the natural shape of our true nature is Satchitananda. I'm not saying that I realised the Self but I feel that I may have stumbled upon a key to relaxing in the mystery.
As above, so below. Satchitananda as the Self; Satchitananda as a human. My reasoning and intuition tell me that by naturally abiding in this experience then the process of whatever needs to happen will unfold naturally by itself.
Or rather Consciousness will take care of Consciousness for the revelation of Consciousness! If any deepening of being, heightening of awareness or intensification of bliss needs to happen then let Consciousness take care of it.
Anyway that's my latest theory and at the very least I think I have uncovered a bloody good meditation approach (it definitely won't be anything new but it is a new revelation to me - at least in its conscious appreciation).
Satchitananda
P.S. 13/3/09 After the initial exhilaration of this discovery I will add that Ramana Maharishi cautions against becoming absorbed and plateau-ing in pleasant states. They are a good sign of progress but one should keep up the enquiry and transcend even these until one finally reaches to Pure Transcendental Consciousness beyond the sense of individual 'I am'. See postings 'down the road a bit' and 'towards the end of the road' 12th March.
I had been seeing the qualities of awareness and of embodied beingness (I am) as being at two ends of a spectrum of subjective experience. To me this spectrum was still within the realm of mind and body and I was striving to somehow transcend it and to experience what I have taken to be the Pure Self - Pure Consciousness beyond space and time.
I wasn't sure whether I should try to plumb the deepest depths of embodied beingness or to try to scale the highest heights of disembodied awareness or to try and do both at the same time!
I was somehow trying to push and pull and stretch this big elastic band of inner experience, attempting to provoke a break through into the Ultimate! I didn't succeed!
Now I can see the error of my ways and am reformed.
Since time immemorial, from the testimony of the Sages, this 'thing' we call the Self has been attributed with three essential qualities; that of Sat, Chit and Anand, or Existence, Consciousness and Bliss.
As above, so below. So we find these three essential qualities reflected in our human experience. Sat, as the sense of individual existence (I am), Chit, as the capacity to be aware and to know, and Anand, as the capacity to feel deep contentment, unconditional love and connectedness.
Somehow we have not been aware of our true nature and our sense of individual existence has become mixed up in mind identification; we have lost touch with our inherent sense of fulfillment and so we seek to try and find it through objective knowledge and the situations and circumstances of this apparent world.
What I realised was that the sense of embodied beingness (I am) is not a separate quality from the awareness of it. Nor are they two aspects of some kind of linear continuum.
No they are both inherent and inseparable qualities of the Self (in reflection), so my attempts to try and find the Self by trying to isolate, separate and transcend its essential qualities was doomed to failure.
The missing quality was Anand (bliss or concentrated happiness). The only good reason really to try to find the Self is because one is trying to find some kind of deep lasting happiness, so what if in my strenuous attempts I was actually short circuiting the possibility all along?
The three essential qualities of the Self are Sat, Chit and Anand so I had the insight that maybe the key is not in trying to separate or exaggerate the qualities of awareness and beingness but in the simple resting in the natural awareness of beingness.
Funnily enough that turned out to be quite blissful! Not the least because now my mind finally had a satisfying explanation and could let go. It was like letting go of an elastic band which one is stretching and it suddenly snaps back to it's own natural shape.
And the natural shape of our true nature is Satchitananda. I'm not saying that I realised the Self but I feel that I may have stumbled upon a key to relaxing in the mystery.
As above, so below. Satchitananda as the Self; Satchitananda as a human. My reasoning and intuition tell me that by naturally abiding in this experience then the process of whatever needs to happen will unfold naturally by itself.
Or rather Consciousness will take care of Consciousness for the revelation of Consciousness! If any deepening of being, heightening of awareness or intensification of bliss needs to happen then let Consciousness take care of it.
Anyway that's my latest theory and at the very least I think I have uncovered a bloody good meditation approach (it definitely won't be anything new but it is a new revelation to me - at least in its conscious appreciation).
Satchitananda
P.S. 13/3/09 After the initial exhilaration of this discovery I will add that Ramana Maharishi cautions against becoming absorbed and plateau-ing in pleasant states. They are a good sign of progress but one should keep up the enquiry and transcend even these until one finally reaches to Pure Transcendental Consciousness beyond the sense of individual 'I am'. See postings 'down the road a bit' and 'towards the end of the road' 12th March.
Sat-Chit-Ananda
Satchitananda
Awareness of Being is inherently Blissful
As above so below
So I be still and away I go
Awareness of Being is inherently Blissful
As above so below
So I be still and away I go
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