about the girl

So after a drawn out process of investigation I finally penetrated the story about the girl who requested help with her college fees. It turns out that she and her mother had been telling me a series of emotionally compelling lies to try and get money out of me.

Some of what she told me was true, that she is a student at the college doing the course she said, but her fee's for this year were already paid whereas she told me she had to pay the balance of $220US by early May or she wouldn't be able to commence the final year in June.

She and her mother are fine actors and obviously well practiced in the art of fleecing Westerners. However this particular Westerner wasn't about to accept anything less than water-tight evidence to verify their story.

After a series of lies and subterfuge which culminated in them producing a forged financial balance statement from the college, complete with the principals forged signature, I finally got to the bottom of it when I went and met with the vice-principal and got him to check the girls balance owing which turned out to be zero.

This was despite their best efforts to keep me away from the college with a series of stories such as foreigners are not allowed to visit college unless they are giving a donation and that the college will substantially increase her fees if they find out she is receiving financial help from abroad.

I went anyway, at first without telling the girls name, and then telling the girls name later when they left me with no other option. However I did it in such a way so as not to arouse suspicion with the school and without telling them about the forged statement which could land them in some serious shit I imagine.

The girl has admitted her lies to me and is now deperate to get the statement back which I have in my possession. I was intending to keep it as some form of protection incase they try some worse form of extortion but on the other hand one doesn't know how deep these things go and who is really behind it all.

Therefore rather than holding some incriminating evidence against them it may be better to give it back rather than risk some deperate action on their part to retrieve it. They do not know exactly where I live but this is a small town and they could probably find me if they really wanted to.

So exciting stuff and a first hand insight into the type of corruption which seems to penetrate Indian society at all levels. I can only hope that the girl does not continue along this path of lies but if she does she is only one of millions more. As Adam said in his comment on my original blog posting relating to this situation, India has some of the best of humanity and some of the worst.

It is impossible for me to know the girl and her families real situation. Whether they are working alone to try and scam income for their family or whether they are hooked into something altogether more sinister............................all I know is I'm staying well clear and hope that the 600 or so rupees I already gave them is all this will cost me.

in brief

Just a short update. I just arrived in Pondicherry again for a couple of days. Now that I have some bearings it is a lot easier to come here. I knew a good cheap quiet clean guest house to go to. I got the local bus for 3 rupees instead of walking or paying 40/50 rupees for an auto-rickshaw (both at the Tiru end and this end). Later when I'm hungry I know a good place to go and eat. Also I just found an extremely cheap a/c internet cafe (10rps/hr) and all I need now is to find a good cheap bicycle hire shop - last time they wanted to stuff me for twice the price I pay in Tiruvannamalai.

Being a Scotsman, and probably past lives as a meditating monk, then frugality comes naturally to me which is also necessary since there is a good chance I will stay in India until next March so I've got to make that money stretch. I'm meeting a friend I know from Tiru maybe tommorrow and I have an appointment to meditate in the cosmic golden golf ball on wednesday morning.

Back in Tiru life is going on nicely. I've been playing chess regularly with Batelvalsaram and I'm generally kicking butt although he did beat me for the first time in 18 games the other night. He's not a push over so I have to concentrate and he seems determined to keep at it. I've also been going to see Aum Amma regularly and like her very much. She adds a whole dimension of sweetness and joy to what can sometimes be a dry path. Meditation is proceeding well and insights continue to accrue (I'll save that for another posting).

My investigations into the case of the student who asked for help are coming to a conclusion with my meeting the college vice-principal on Thursday. Some generous offers of help have already come in from family and friends to the extent that about $80US of the $220US required for college fees has already been pledged. There are some additional expenses of about twenty something dollars for exam fees and bits n bobs which I am covering myself.

I will report on the outcome of my meeting soon. Menaka (the student) is a very bright young woman (14) from a very modest economic background. She has been promoted ahead 2 years in school and so has a head start on her college education which is a Diploma in Electronic and Communications Engineering. She has been giving me a few Tamil lessons and so I'm getting to know her family a little as well as the regional language.

So that's it for now. Happy Easter.

Crazy Divine

Hi there, well my blog writing has certainly stepped down a few gears after a very prolific March. I must admit I was probably spending too much time in the email cafe but all of that stuff was wanting to be expressed so that was that.

I'm pretty well although I did have two or three days there of boredom, frustration and confusion which seems to have passed now. Can happen where ever one is. That said it has become very quiet here and becomes increasingly hot. It is quite likely that I will hit the road in the next two or three weeks and head over to Kerala.

There is one famous Saint there commonly known as 'hugging Ma' or 'Amma'. She travels the world every year holding events where thousands of people come to receive her blessings which come in the form of a peronal hug as well as a very devotional and highly charged atmosphere.

I met her myself last time in London October 1999 while I was in the Royal Navy. At that time I was going through a lot of suffering due to inner turmoil over what to do with my life. During the weekend with Amma I tuned into and softened into the inner depths, helped greatly by her presence, and also received a big boost in energy from her. I was in a very peaceful state for about a week afterwards.

The turmoil returned but perhaps not so intense as before and some months later another breakthrough came with meditation where the confusion evaporated and I had a clear knowing that I should leave the Navy and come to India. As it happened I did leave the Navy but instead of going to India life had another plan and I ended up meeting Maitreya and emigrating to New Zealand instead.

That was a rich time and here I am 9 years later, imbibing the stillness of Arunachala and finally going to see Amma again. I have met several of her devotees here both Western and Indian and at one point there was a gang of five of us (all staying at the same Ashram) and we were going for swimming, walking around the mountain and afternoon refreshments together. I called us the Sat-gang but neglected to get a picture.

They have mostly gone now but there is one Indian man, Batel Valsaram, with whom I have become good meditation buddies. This morning we went around the mountain with one other dude, went swimming in one of the big man-made holy watering holes called 'Tanks' (far from people so I am confident it is clean) and then had a game of chess after lunch. That was the first time I had played since with my Grandad in Scotland over Christmas. It was quite a good match and gives the brain a good exercise. I won as it happened but we'll see how future games go.

Other things happening are the situation with the young college girl I mentioned in a recent post. I have been over there for a couple of Tamil lessons and think that that could be a viable business for her with the westerners. In addition two generous offers of help have come in so far in reponse to my blog request along the lines I suggested. I am just checking into some final details in the next days and then I'll give my report.

I have also been a couple of times to see one 'Aum Amma' a few km's from where I am now. 'Amma' means mother in India and is often a name given to lady Saints here. Aum Amma is very sweet. She appears to be in some kind of ecstatic devotional trance most of the time and during 'Darshan' (seeing/meeting with a Saint) there is devotional Indian singing while she is all decked out in flower garlands and covering herself and those nearby in buckets full of flower petals.

The first time I went, after the initial session, she met with each person individually in a private room and gives them a big hit of cosmic loving. Like hugging Ma in Kerala (who is much much more well known), Aum Amma is considered by her devotees to be an incarnation or embodiment of the Divine Mother. That is the cosmic principle or Divine expression of Love. I can't comment on that but I do know that there is a very special energy around some of these beings and I have met many people who have been helped to lasting inner transformation by it (Satsang Werner being one of them).

On the social welfare front Hugging Ma in particular has instigated or inspired huge amounts of service work in providing disaster relief, schools, education, work skills, medical treatment etc. etc. for many under privileged people in India. In general it is probably better to give money to well run aid organisations like this rather than to individual cases although there is always an exception.

I'm not sure that Aum Amma is compos mentis enough to put anything like that together or whether she could even hold a reasonable conversation. Apparently Hugging Ma was a bit like that too in her early days but eventually adjusted to normal functioning, or should I say super-normal functioning which might be more accurate.

So no cosmic fireworks so far but Aum Amma puts a smile on my face and warms up my heart. Check her out for yourself :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIGidWtaMD8

keeping it simple

without trying there is a natural sense of existing
a natural sense of being
eyes open and eyes closed
abide as that
rest as that
remain alert as that
all is well
all is good

thoughts feelings and images come and go
this awareness-being does not come and go
only sometimes we are distracted from it

redirect attention back to the natural sense of being
ask 'Who?'
who is having these thoughts?
who is this I?
relax and rest quietly as that which already is

if that is not clear then feel the body and the breath
drop inside
awareness-being is right there
and its nature is peace
Aum Shanti

meeting the locals and an opportunitiy to help

So last Sunday I was taking a bicycle ride around the quiet side of the mountain and came across a bit of a situation. Even in this small area there must be thousands of genuine situations of need as well as many scam artists out to milk gullible westerners for all they are worth.

So I rode past a small dwelling in a field off of a side road. A young girl called out to me if I want to buy any papaya or any coconut? I didn't then but on the way back I did so I popped in and the mother and daughter took me into the field to get some ripe fruits.

They were pretty friendly and the daughter spoke quite good English and she offered to give me Tamil lessons which is the native language in this state of India. Before long she started telling me a story of hardship and how she needs financial help with her college fees. In particular she had an exam tomorrow and needed to come up with 100 rupees ($2US) deposit on the exam fee or she wouldn't be able to sit it.

I said okay, I'll tell you what, I won't give you the money but I'll pay you 100 rupees in advance now for some conversational Tamil lessons. That worked out okay and I bought some fruit from them also. They tried to petition me for some more money, saying that she had had a foreign sponsor but that they had disappeared on her, but I left it at that and arranged to come back the next day for a Tamil lesson.

Next day after some lessons I got more of the story. There are four of them (grandma, mother, one teenage boy and the girl) living in one small dwelling the size of most peoples lounge room (not unusual in India). The father was an abusive drunk and has ran off leaving them to pay off the debt of money he borrowed from the land owner. So according to what they told me they are living as some kind of indentured servants to the land owner for very little money.

So, to cut a long story short, they are obviously looking to recruit some new comparatively wealthy foreign sponsorship to help the girl complete her studies which will then allow her to get a better paid job and to help her family. She is a nice girl and apparently a gifted pupil coming top of her class of 72 students in some exam.

On the one hand I was wary of being scammed by a plausible hard luck story and on the other hand if her case was genuine the amount of money she was talking about was not huge but could make a huge difference in this young lady and her families life.

After considering the matter I suggested that maybe I could help her to promote her own business giving Tamil lessons to foreigners which would help her to earn her own money and also to come in contact with more potential donors.

She also needs to pay off the remaining balance of 11,000 rupees (about $220US) for this current years study before June or she will not be allowed to commence her 3rd and final year of her Diploma in Electronics & Communication Engineering which can be funded more gradually by installments.

It does not seem feasible that they could raise that much money in two months without outside help. Wages are very very low here and it is the quiet time of year. Also they apparently have no assets or property to borrow against. I considered that $220US was quite a chunk for any one person to give her but that maybe if a bunch of people put in together then it would hardly be noticeable and yet would have a very big impact for her.

I told her that subject to certain conditions then myself and some friends overseas might be willing to help her. My conditions were that :

1) she provides some official documentation from the college to verify the balance owing
2) she arrange that I can meet with one of her teachers who can verify her academic and other details
3) if money is raised then I would not give it to her or her mother but would need to personally see it being paid directly to the college

I figured that if she is willing and able to meet these conditions then it would go along way to proving that her case is genuine and will ensure that the money went to the right place. She indicated this morning via mobile that she will organise it. Also I am going to meet with one retired scientist man who is an ex-neighbour and friend of the family who can perhaps help to substantiate the story and I have emailed the college to verify some of the general financial details.

I didn't want to be unnecessarily strict but there are too many stories of dishonest people making a profession out of scamming money from Westerners with all kinds of plausible yarns.

If all the details of her story check out as being genuine then I cannot really think of any good reason not to help her out. Generally I don't want to become involved in this type of thing as there is a seemingly unending ocean of disadvantaged people needing help in this world (especially in places like India) but I happened to become involved in this particular case and it seems that a little help would make a big difference in at least this one young persons life.

So while everything is being verified I would like to ask you all to consider if you might like to contribute something. I will certainly put in 10% of the $220US needed in the short term and perhaps if a few others feel to chip in as well then the target will easily be met without anyone of the givers really noticing such a modest amount. A little goes a long way in India and many small contributions help to fill the pot so even a couple of dollars or pounds will help.

I'll get back with further details as things unfold but if things work out then I envisage collecting contributions through any one of my NZ, AUS or UK bank accounts and I might be able to recruit a friend to do a similar thing in the US (and other countries as needed?).

Of course you would have to trust that I myself am not pulling an elaborate scam just so I can perpetuate the high life for myself!!!

time on my hands

Hey I thought of a good acronym :
Sustainable Ecological Creative Spiritual Communities (SECSC) get it?!
say it like it sounds.

Pondicherry and Auroville

Well I just got back last night from a couple of days excursion to Pondicherry and Auroville. Pondicherry is about a 3.5hr bus ride east to the coast and is an ex-french colonial town famous as the home of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram.

Sri Aurobindo was a contempory with Sri Ramana Maharishi and died in the same year of 1950. Aurobindo was an early key leader in the Indian Independence movement but later withdrew from politics to focus his energy on his spiritual work.

His main point seems to be that enlightenment doesn't stop with the individual becoming transcendentally liberated from suffering. For him he felt that what was needed was to bring the light of enlightenment into this world and transform it into an enlightened world.

I'm not all that familiar with the specifics but the basic idea seems pretty good. His spiritual partner, a french mystic known as the Mother, lived on until 1973 and in the late 60's she spawned the bold experiment that was to become known as Auroville.

Auroville is an experiment in community living which aims to integrate all the aspects of life into one holistic package covering the spiritual to the material and everything in between. It is a non-sectarian project with the backing of the Govt. of India and UNESCO covering quite a large area of land anout 12km north of Pondicherry.

Eventually it is envisaged to be a fully functioning city for up to 50,000 people however at the moment it seems to be more of a loose-knit and spread out collection of around 80 small communities with 1500-2000 people from all over the world. Each of the small communities has it's own particular focus such as organic farming, renewable energy technology, education, creative arts, healing etc, etc.

At the centre of the place, both physically and spiritually, is the Matrimandir, which is a huge spherical meditation chamber. I didn't actually get to go inside this time as they make you jump through quite a few hoops which I suppose protects it from being treated like a tourist attraction and helps to maintain the purity of the energy. I was able to go to the visitor centre and to view the structure from a distance. It's very impressive and big and puts one in mind of a huge golden golf ball from outer space that has landed in the middle of a horse racing track.

I hear it is good energy in there so I may or may not make it back for a repeat visit. Afterall it is all within oneself and I'm already living in one of the worlds great power spots of Consciousness. All in all, Auroville is quite an impressive place although, by their own aspirations, is still only in its infancy. They are doing some very innovative stuff and, while not being unique in their aspiration to combine spirituality and sustainable eco-community creative living, certainly seem to be one of the worlds largest and longest running modern day experiments along such lines.

They are not really set up for casual drop in visitors and so inorder to get a greater feel for it all one would probably have to live and participate in community life for at least some weeks. I'm not sure whether I want to do that at the moment or whether my little taste is enough for now.

Pondicherry itself is quite nice, at least the eastern coastal french part of town, with wide fairly clean and fairly peaceful streets. On the cycle back from Auroville I also stopped off at the beach and had a bit of a swim in the Indian Ocean which was very warm but still refreshing after riding in the hot sun all day.

The bus ride back was fun. After waiting at the bus station for an hour I just managed to get on the right bus before it left. Already it was over full but the driver let me sit up beside him on the box above the engine. It wasn't that comfortable but better than standing like a couped up chicken for 3hrs like many of the rest of them.

Another interesting Indian transport example I saw was a whole family of mum, dad, three small kids and a baby all on one standard Indian bicycle! I would have taken a photo only I was myself cycling and trying to avoid being squished by the many huge trucks and buses passing by, each trying to out do the other in the loudness and duration of their horn blasting.

Have a nice day :)

green eggs and ham - a glossary

Self (I Am) - pure undifferentiated consciousness prior to individuality
self (I am) - the individual identity which when identified with thoughts becomes the false-ego

N.B. the higher and lower meaning of the same word is often differentiated by capitalisation

the feeling-sense of 'I' - the feeling of 'me' or 'I' at the core of the ego; the scent-trail of which leads one back to the source of the True 'I Am' as the Self
the True 'I' or 'I Am' - the Higher Self beyond thoughts or feelings

Self-Inquiry - the approach of focusing attention on the feeling-sense of 'I' such that thoughts drop off and the True 'I' or 'I Am' is revealed

Pure Awareness, Pure Consciousness, Pure Being - synonyms for the Self

Sat-Chit-Ananda - the three essential, inherent and inseparable qualities of the Self, namely, Existence-Consciousness-Bliss or Stability-Clarity-Peace

Embodied Beingness - a term I was using to refer to feeling very present, very still and very centered in the body which I was associating with the pure individual sense of 'I am'

I am as I am

I am as I am
and it's okay to be me
because I Am became I am
just so I could see

This life is for living, loving and learning
so I set myself free
because I am that I Am
and that I Am is me